Saturday, June 30, 2007

Jottings on a Laaaazzzzyyy Afternoon

What a laaaazzzy afternoon...


With only 124 files to update and the boss arriving any moment now, I have a calm mind, a state which I have managed to attain after days of a certain form of meditation called Procrastination. I have almost mastered this art and have applied it in many areas. Like the pile of laundry I mentioned in another post (I like it when I get my reader to revise), it's still there.


I had a nice helping of rice, 2 curries, a small helping of my friend's chicken fried rice (I have a 'helping' mentality) and an apple and now, a coffee. A relaxed, contented and satisfied burrrrrrrrrp later, I bury my rear end in the chair, nursing another cuppa. Slowly, the cold seat sends shivers through my spine (very easy path for the shivers to travel, right?). I take a few more sips of the nice coffee... mmm...


I look at the monitor... stare at it would be the more appropriate usage, 'cos am trying to think what was it that I was doing before going for lunch... One more sip of the warm coffee... You know how good it feels when the room temperature is low and you're cold and the warm coffee goes down your throat... mmm... nice coffee...


And, yes, I get a vague recollection of what I was doing and suddenly realize the monitor is actually in sleep mode and you need to move the mouse to bring that 'sparkle' to your computer's eyes... yeah, you gotta lift that hand and keep it on the mouse and move it... yeah, I'll do it... one sec, lemme take one more sip of the coffee...


And then I feel reeeaaally full. All that lunch has settled and feels as though it's expanded or something, 'cos my tummy is bulging and out of the blue, the image of my cosy, warm bed flashes in front of me. Who says coffee keeps you awake?


They should introduce something like a one-hour power-nap... Or a bed in the Recreation Room, 'cos one of my favourite recreational activities is sleep. Some people call it a non-activity (That's totally false!).

Sunday, June 24, 2007

(Un)steady Income?

"You will never need to worry about a steady income" What a tempting thought! That's 'Today's Fortune' for me from Orkut... Some people are so generous!

Feels comfy and soothed to know I won't have to worry about a steady income...

On the flip side, does that mean I'll have to worry about an unsteady income? Gulp! Fortunes can be pretty ambivalent. More like Janus.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Car Wash Exploits

Hubby n I took our car to the car wash last evening. Congratulations to us and to our car!

Before I tell you 'bout the travails at the car wash, lemme tell you 'bout our car, or rather, 'bout the (layers of) dirt and dust on our car. Now, the layers of dirt and dust on our car are like one fold of icing on top of another... I know that sounds too far-fetched, but I love exaggerating. It's a habit I love to keep. Please bear with me. Icing, mmmm... I love icing. Do you? I love chocolate fudge icing the most... Ok, let's not get carried off by sinful thoughts of icing (am trying to shed kilos, remember?)... 'Bout the dirt and dust... to make matters short (and yawwwwn!) and interesting, our car is very dirty and dusty.

When I say the car is dirty and dusty, I must say, it's very dirty and dusty.

We, well, get it washed, let's say, once a month, if the car's lucky. Once in one-and-a-half months definitely! No two ways 'bout that! We're that particular 'bout having a clean car, you know.

So, we drive up into the short queue (q-u-e-u-e... had to think a li'l on that spelling... hmm...), we were third. It's around quarter past nine in the night. We have a hunch the attendant is desperately trying to (peacefully) finish his duty shift.

Attendant looks at the car and did a double take. No doubt, at the car 'besprinkled' with 'earthy deposits'... that's as euphemistic as I can be. Can't get any vaguer than that. The poor guy took one long look at our car and walked stony faced towards the comparatively, and most certainly, cleaner one right in front of us. He had this look that said 'Why me?!' . At this point, I'm tempted to giggle. You too may.

Hubby speculated: Depressed/Desperate Attendant might while away the remaining time in the restroom and just wait till the next attendant turns up for duty. Anything to avoid our car!

Depressed/Desperate Attendant shuffles over to the manager's cabin, casting one more sideways glance towards our car. Maybe wondering how to add on some bells n whistles to his complaint.

We were half expecting to see the manager storming out of his cabin and rushing to us to give us a lecture on how to keep a car as clean as possible when brought to the car wash. And perhaps even give us a helpful hint or two 'bout spraying the car with some water to soak all the dirt and dust before being brought to the car wash.

But no! There's no manager! Yippee! We escaped this time!

Soon, it's our turn to wheel in to the wash area ('soon', because the other cars have much lesser dirt than ours). The attendant comes over and we hand him the charges, bracing up for a round of reprimands. But, again, we are let off!

And before long, the car's looking spanking new and squeaky clean!

Until the next trip to the car wash...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

'How's life treating you?'

My buddy asked: 'How's life treating you?'

Hmm... I must say, he asked for it!

Am feeling sleepy, wanna catch up on my sleep, bucketful of laundry to finish, do something bout my boring job, give my neighbour's son a piece of my mind, clean the stove, shake off 3 kilos somehow, avoid evening walks n still lose those 3 kilos, clear my fridge, mail all my frnds before they forget me, go home, see that stack of files go poof! and disappear, catch up on my reading, get my watch repaired, get a haircut, babysit frnd's wife in the eve and still finish the laundry, get those 2 heavy (stinking) blankets laundered, catch up on my fav tv shows, watch movies, reduce raving n ranting bout the lift (under repair for the last 4 months), practise climbing those 8 flights of stairs in one go, cut up all the recipes from that pile of magazines n dispose of the 'remains', figure out how to remove that stain from my favourite cream pants, blog more, organize the computer, throw out the old sausage packets stored for the last 6 months in the freezer, cook up some vile concoction with that powder I bought 2 weeks back, decide on the menu for Friday's guests, work my mind into a frenzy bout the menu, try not to get caught without a safety helmet in the factory, reduce chocolate consumption by half next month, start working on that this month, control temper when boss calls me at home to ask where I stored a particular file, maintain sanity when neighbour's son (yes, again) is at my place, dispose garbage before the stink 'pervades' the entire house...

Ummm... What was it that he asked me...? How's life treating me...? Oh, Am luvin it! N am living it! every moment of it! With all those things to do, I luv it! :D :D :D

Life's treating me like a princess, buddy! N am glad. N am grateful for every moment I have. :D :D :D

Monday, June 18, 2007

Today's Fortune

Today's Fortune on Orkut always keeps me in good humour. It's always these sugary-sweet tidbits that greet me when I open my account every morning... never lets me down.

But what disturbs me is, I have a growing suspicion that these fortunes are being recycled, though I havn't been able to determine the duration between each repeat 'telecast'.

For example, today's Today's Fortune is "You are going to have a very comfortable old age". Now that's the second time am noticing that am 'going to have a very comfortable old age'. Taking into consideration that your fortunes are determined by your stars/planets, it's slightly depressing to see this piece of post-dated info again. Leads you to conclude that your stars/planets are doing the same rounds... which is not what I learnt in Astrophysics class, you know! (There, I let out some valuable info about my academic leanings)

And another thing that bugs me after I 'imbibe' Today's Fortune is, do they deal only with good fortune? And if I'm being shielded from the harsh reality of the bad fortune, it is indeed unfortunate. Am a big girl now, and I can handle it.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Murphy's Law

You've heard of Murphy's Law? Well, if you havn't, am sure you definitely would've experienced it umpteen number of times (and called it many different names - I don't want to go into detail about the names. hehe!).

Like the slice of bread that you painstakingly buttered, falls with the buttered side down. Or, when the guy-who-fixes-computers finally arrives (after the 100th call) and checks out the 'ill' computer, it works like a charm. We've seen it all.

Well, if you ask me... (please do ask) Looks like Murphy has taken an unusual liking to me. Cos somehow I always seem to be getting into trouble at all the wrong places and at the wrong time.

I was this average college student, who used to depend on the humble public transport, The Bus. The Bus was The Boss. Half the breakfast you had is expended on kicking, pushing, shoving and balancing in The Bus that's never going straight, but somehow weaves and meanders through the road (which, by the way, is worse). Coupled with this driver who derives a sadistic pleasure out of slamming the brakes, so that he can batten up the passengers to make more space for packing more sardines, oops! passengers.

You might be wondering why all this drivel on the complexities of travelling on the bus... Well, you'll see how Murphy's Law puts all this into perspective.

So, you leave home early everyday to catch this less-packed bus. Everyday you wait at the right time for The Bus to arrive. But it's got the cheek to always show up 10 mins late than scheduled. The impudent lil piece of metal! This happens 29 days outta 30.
So the next day, the 30th day, what do you do!? You show what you can do and you arrive 10 mins late! Today you'll catch The Bus right on dot! HA! .......... N of all the days, today, The Bus was early by 10 mins. On time. Come n gone.

This has happened to me every time I tried it.

Ok, let's consider another situation... Am the goody-goody employee who never wastes a single moment in office (ahem! blogging is not included in the list), pays attention to my job, dutifully buries my head in files, doodles on paper, stares intelligently into the computer checking pals' mails, never attends personal (chit-chat) calls, and most important -- sits ram-rod straight in the chair (body language counts a lot, buddy). I do this everyday...

But The Boss (here the MD) never seems to notice, cos he never passes by. You wish he sees you working diligently at that obsolete file trying to revive it... But no, nothing doing. he never sees you.

And then one day, the mobile rings, n I think, What the hell! I might as well take it, and as I go yakkity-yak on the phone, I lean back, relax n enjoy the call. It'l take just 2 mins...

Then, Murphy strikes and the MD passes right beside my cabin n what does he see? His least-seen employee draped on the backrest of the chair, engaged in a useless phone call! I bet you, in one hour, you'll get that most-hated project no one in office wanted to take up.

Murphy's after me, I tell you. He's after me.

Father so-and-so

I feel honoured to have come across some really very articulate people over the years. One among them was this Father So-and-so during my undergarduate days... Though he hasn't taught me, his wise words have never failed to tickle the 'hallowed portals' of our college...

He taught them students Physics. Now, that's one area you don wan me to talk 'bout. I've never had a flair for inhuman(e) things. Just like Maths... I once calculated 350+350+5000+5000 and gave the sum as 8800. Dont ask me how. It's not my fault (I think it's the calculator). Thats what i told my MD too. No, I wasn't fired. Am still working in the same place. Now where were we... Yeah, coming back to the Priest-Prof...

He chalked out an equation on the board and told the students: 'suggest me a technology to solve this'. (yes, u may laugh.)

Among his famous blunders, the one I like the most would be : 'Avalaanji (read: avalanche) is available in the winter regions'. Can someone tell me since when was avalanches 'available' in 'winter regions'?

'There is something wrong with your curves and projections!' Now, this one takes the cake! Susan, the gorgeous gal, was asked to walk up to the board and draw out a graph. And the one that she finally scratched out after some hocus-pocus, got this response. No, i dont think he meant anything else. (Susan's a perfect 10, u know)

(If you havn't slept with your face stuck on the keyboard, thank you for a patient ear)

Friday, June 15, 2007

Pearls of Wisdom in English by my neighbour

Love thy neighbour! I just love mine!

She corrupts my english on a daily basis... From Day One, she's baffled me by her ever-evolving English... Now i know why English is the most flexible language... u can twist n turn n bend n squeeze n scrunch n fold whatever u say. N my neighbour would be the right choice for demonstration. hehe!

When I did finally develop the ability to understand what she's telling me, I had to develop the skill to stiffle that strong, very strong urge to burst out laughing... am not exaggerating (u ought to believe me)... You'l know why when u read this:

Some pearls of wisdom in English by my neighbour:

• He heightening very fastly --- Her son's growing tall fast
• I requestingly told him --- that was to her boss
• I tireding very much --- Her standard dialogue after work. I dont laugh at it anymore. am working myself. I tireding very much too. :D
• Squeezingly he held me --- Not her husband. No. Her son held her hand tight.
• Runningly he came to me --- Her son again. yeah, her life revolves round her son.
• Carrot cut cut ke daala I --- In the same order, please note. Very confusing when you are taking down a strange recipe. Especially when you dont want to.
• The items has to order I --- In the same order, again.

These are just a few samples... I keep forgetting the rest, 'cos by now, am so accustomed to hearing this that i find it normal...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My first post

hmmm... It's been a while since i started this blog... But i havnt had the time to 'fortify' it with valuable pieces of nonsense. Been a case of blogstipation, as i told a certain pal today. been reading (n enjoying, i dare say) his blogs. hehehe! N I still havnt had time to devote any time to mine! and this certain pal has also promised to post comments... although this wudnt be much to comment on, I started a blog! ha! now thats something to comment on!