Pearls of Wisdom in English by my neighbour

Love thy neighbour! I just love mine!

She corrupts my english on a daily basis... From Day One, she's baffled me by her ever-evolving English... Now i know why English is the most flexible language... u can twist n turn n bend n squeeze n scrunch n fold whatever u say. N my neighbour would be the right choice for demonstration. hehe!

When I did finally develop the ability to understand what she's telling me, I had to develop the skill to stiffle that strong, very strong urge to burst out laughing... am not exaggerating (u ought to believe me)... You'l know why when u read this:

Some pearls of wisdom in English by my neighbour:

• He heightening very fastly --- Her son's growing tall fast
• I requestingly told him --- that was to her boss
• I tireding very much --- Her standard dialogue after work. I dont laugh at it anymore. am working myself. I tireding very much too. :D
• Squeezingly he held me --- Not her husband. No. Her son held her hand tight.
• Runningly he came to me --- Her son again. yeah, her life revolves round her son.
• Carrot cut cut ke daala I --- In the same order, please note. Very confusing when you are taking down a strange recipe. Especially when you dont want to.
• The items has to order I --- In the same order, again.

These are just a few samples... I keep forgetting the rest, 'cos by now, am so accustomed to hearing this that i find it normal...